I have a rhetorical question (definition: question that you ask without expecting an answer):
How many pairs of black pants does one woman need?
Since I’m talking to my computer I’m not really expecting an answer (although it would be pretty cool if you would answer via the Be Brave. Lost the Beige survey. I’ve changed my mind — I really do want to know after all).
This question popped into my head when my husband and I were traveling in Europe this summer. Since we stayed in five different places there were many days when my suitcase was my dresser. Invariably however, as I was rummaging through my suitcase (because of course the item I wanted was ALWAYS inaccessible no matter how many times I packed for the next day. I guess it’s just not in my DNA to create a clothing strategy and stick to it).
It was during this delving I realized I had multiple pairs of black pants from shorts to capris to ankle length trousers. Inevitably I would say, in a decidedly cranky voice, “Not that pair of black pants. I want the ones that have…the seam running down the center, the cotton light weight ones, the ones with spandex, my yoga pants, the ones with the zipper in the back,” etc. etc.
So the other rhetorical question I pose is this one:
When did this happen to me?
It just kind of snuck up on me and boom! I have eight pairs of black pants in my closet. There is probably (actually, no “probably” about it) a correlation between my weight gain and how much better my stomach and butt look in black.
(For the record, black is not really even a color. It’s kind of selfish just absorbing all the colors in the visible spectrum, hoarding them and never reflecting them back. But it does have its attributes, principal among them its ability to hide body fat)
I keep seeing this ad on Facebook for the “Little Black Pant” guaranteed to be the “best fitting pant you will ever buy.” My hand keeps hovering over the “order today” button.
Help, please stop me now!
Please take a minute to complete my fashion questionnaire my clicking here. I’d love to hear more about your black pant collection!
Liz Kitchens is a writer and blogger. Her blog, Be Brave. Lose the Beige, reaches out to Lady Boomers, women of the Baby Boomer generation. Liz also blogs for Growing Bolder and Vibrant Nation, two sites devoted to aging issues. Liz conducts workshops on the health benefits of creativity and is an ambassador for the Creative Caregiving Initiative sponsored by the NCCA, The National Center for Creative Aging. Liz founded the Jeremiah Project, an after school and summer creative arts program designed to foster self esteem and encourage creative thinking among at risk middle school aged students.